the 2nd semester of school.

a new fresh start from the previous semester.


yes.

well so far school's been a killer. semiconductors, analog electronics, quantum physics, what's there not to love?



and also, what's the point of holding onto something that isn't yours anymore? you are only gonna get yourself stuck at the bottom of the shithole. its time to swim up and leave the shithole.

the script- nothing.


And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words,
And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred,
So I dialed her number and confessed to her,
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing...)





well, the holidays are coming to an end. i'm getting my results in a couple of days.

looks like the rat race for me in uni is about to begin.

happy new year guys.

yes i know its 6 days late but... i can't be fucked to post a new entry here anyways.. no one reads this damn blog.



so what's been happening? hmm. emo shit aside, i've successfully planned my timetable (its a shitty one though, FML), attended the UOC 10.5 beach event (FUCK YOU NTU FUCK YOU STARS PLANNER THANKS TO THE PLANNING YOUR OWN TIMETABLE SHIT AND FUCKING SHITTY TIMING I WASTED LIKE 2HOURS AND I REACHED SENTOSA AT LIKE 5 FUCKING PM AND ALL I GOT WAS A STUPID SHITTY TIMETABLE. bitch fit ends.)

the beach event was awesome though, probably (or rather, the only reason) because all my frens are there and they are awesomeeeee :D i only participated in 2 games because by the time i arrived there the earlier 2 games were over. drinking competition (yes go ahead and laugh at the guy who gets tipsy easily) and candlefight. although we didn't win the championship (Enzo and Martell had a tie) it was still a kick-ass event.

the next few activities i guess would be another wavehouse outing, the malacca overseas trip and yes the start of school.

alright, this has to be the most-non-emo post in the past few months. i shall leave it as it is now, and return when i'm emo again.

riverside, motherfuckers.

"but.... you're a nice guy, and i can't bring it up to tell you..."

the worst excuse ever.

i don't get it, so just because i'm all nice and friendly to you, doesn't mean it gives you the right to hurt me. because "oh he's a nice guy, he'll understands i'm sure. i don't really need to tell him.." means that i don't need to know the truth from the start.

"he's a nice guy, i don't wanna hurt him, i think he'll understand one.."

"i heard from her that you're a nice guy, so she's afraid of hurting you.. and the friendship."


what the fuck........


now that the exams are over, the nightmares comes back. i start to think. thoughts haunt me. i can't help it, its just simply too overwhelming at times.

i.... tried to be angry but i know deep down inside i'm yearning for her otherwise. the sense of disappointment and the tragedy of myself is choking me up entirely.

anyway, its just a short rant. the whole episode happened weeks ago.. does it even matter anymore? no. will she give a fuck? hell no man.. does doing anything to draw her attention or to salvage the situation makes any difference? NEVER.

gah. the only saving grace is that i still have this little space for me to vent it all out. all my hopes and dreams literally smashed into pieces. i'm practically left floating on my own now, hanging onto the slightest thinnest thread. i'm sure people can tell, we don't really communicate anymore now. probably will do me good, since its gonna be the start of a whole new year, plus a new semester.

my friends, they have been supportive and understanding. thanks guys.

merry fucking christmas everyone.. =)

ahhh blogger.. my little haven.

a place where i can soak in my own comfort, live in my own dreams, sink deeper into my comfort zone. hide away from the world. no reality.





well i can't say much, can i?

it was mostly "okays" and "i'm sorry"s. nah, seriously what do you think could have been said? "oh okay i was just kidding, let's go back to the start."?

lol that's next to impossible. anyway i've said my piece too, maybe its insignificant to you, maybe you would treated it as a "okay, whatevers" kinda thing.

then came the "yeah we should take a time-out yo."

its okay. i lost the fight. i went down real hard. i'll admit it. but its okay. we're still cool.





then again, its time to set the priorities right now. studies. after all, thats why we're here for right?

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to be honest, life in school now is great, but not awesome. it'll be much more awesome with the amount of mugging reduced. haha. damnit man, just bumped into kai siang (my senior) in school, so he asked, "so where're you going?" i replied, "orh, going to study lor." he was surprised and replied back, "WAH! study again? you like everyday study like that leh!"

wa sian. totally no life liao. anyway, can't be helped. next week there's this super anal algorithm quiz. plus 2 weeks away to the exam. i cant afford to slack now.

oh well, with my mind now cleared, i guess its time to put in 100% focus and energy into both studies and UOC. =)

no i'm not feeling emo.

i won't give up =)