i wonder does anyone still read this blog? haha.

anyway. a year has passed since i've joined UOC. and the freshies coming in look good! hehehehe.

just hope that this year will pass smoothly... enough of shit stirring le. hahaa.


and yes, i have 7 motherfucking papers to take. i'm so peeved yet i cannot do anything about it.

so i was packing my stuffs in my drawer.. and out came my secondary school report book and my O level results slip.

i still remember that day. all of us met up to head to school to collect our results slip......

as we were from the last class of the express stream, most of us didnt had high hopes of getting good results. a few of us had the potential though; these few ppl eventually made it to JC and then to university =)

my prelims were bad... pretty bad. i think i scored L1R4 of 19 or 20.. i thought to myself, well, a score of 15 should suffice for me.. i'll probably get into a decent polytechnic course.

i have no wish to go into a JC, even IF my result is good enough. firstly, i loathed the idea of donning a uniform to school again. and the idea of studying every single subject, be it related to what i wanna do in the future or not, just for that A level cert.

secondly, coming from a 1 math and 1 sciences class (i didnt take A-math nor pure physics/chemistry; i took combined sciences. and eventually struggled in my 1st year of poly lolol), i figured out that i would struggle ALOT in a JC.

so anyway, i met up with my secondary school buddies to go back to jurongville for what it might seem to be the last time (i think i went back 1 last time for good after this though).

went to the hall. now, i cant really rmb what happened after this, but the principal probably spoke to us... then congratulate us... blah blah.

then i think he went on to announce the top student in our school.

frankly i think in my whole class no one really bothered. all of us were just anxious to get our results slip. you see, being someone from the last class of the express stream, you don't really get good treatment from the teachers. dont get me wrong, i dont mean that the teachers are really mean and nasty, its just that their attitude towards us are always negative. somewhat like "given up hope on us". plus we always get live "fighting" action in class, there's no wonder that the teachers shun our class like the black plague.

we do not aim to be the top in school, top in class. yes we might have been looked down upon, but i remember during the last few months of school, everyone suddenly woke up. everyone suddenly understood the importance of the O level examination.

and everyone started to study. whether its group study, self-study, study with girlfriend/boyfriend.

on a side note, i remembered we were playing soccer in the street soccer court just weeks before the examination. our discipline master (and now, our vice-principal), came over and took our ball away. he smiled at us and said, "Please guys, i beg you. Go and study with whatever time you guys have! You guys can play all you want after the exams!"

hahhahaahahaha. how funny, the DM is actually pleading with us lololol.


and so the day came. whether we will get into our ideal course. of course, most of us were just aiming for B4s and B3s.

i still remembered my form teacher calling out my name. Mdm Nor Azzah- the lady who called out SEO YUE SIANG. i walked over.

she smiled at me. i think she said, Well done.

hmm. what does it mean?


i looked at my slip.

couple of As and mostly Bs.... wait. no Cs?!

wow. this is quite amazing.

all my life, i've never scored more than a C5 for my mathematics. same goes for my combined humanities.

my friend Lijing (or was it Jiamin?!) came over and helped me to calculate my R4.

"WA ERIC!! your R4!! 12 leh!! not bad not bad!! congrats!!"

i couldnt believe my ears of course. 15 was already a boon for me, but 12?!

me and soe hlaing, my sec sch buddy, were some of the students that improved the most. he scored 11 if im not wrong.


and so those were the days.

the 2nd semester of school.

a new fresh start from the previous semester.


yes.

well so far school's been a killer. semiconductors, analog electronics, quantum physics, what's there not to love?



and also, what's the point of holding onto something that isn't yours anymore? you are only gonna get yourself stuck at the bottom of the shithole. its time to swim up and leave the shithole.

the script- nothing.


And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words,
And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred,
So I dialed her number and confessed to her,
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing...)





well, the holidays are coming to an end. i'm getting my results in a couple of days.

looks like the rat race for me in uni is about to begin.

happy new year guys.

yes i know its 6 days late but... i can't be fucked to post a new entry here anyways.. no one reads this damn blog.



so what's been happening? hmm. emo shit aside, i've successfully planned my timetable (its a shitty one though, FML), attended the UOC 10.5 beach event (FUCK YOU NTU FUCK YOU STARS PLANNER THANKS TO THE PLANNING YOUR OWN TIMETABLE SHIT AND FUCKING SHITTY TIMING I WASTED LIKE 2HOURS AND I REACHED SENTOSA AT LIKE 5 FUCKING PM AND ALL I GOT WAS A STUPID SHITTY TIMETABLE. bitch fit ends.)

the beach event was awesome though, probably (or rather, the only reason) because all my frens are there and they are awesomeeeee :D i only participated in 2 games because by the time i arrived there the earlier 2 games were over. drinking competition (yes go ahead and laugh at the guy who gets tipsy easily) and candlefight. although we didn't win the championship (Enzo and Martell had a tie) it was still a kick-ass event.

the next few activities i guess would be another wavehouse outing, the malacca overseas trip and yes the start of school.

alright, this has to be the most-non-emo post in the past few months. i shall leave it as it is now, and return when i'm emo again.

riverside, motherfuckers.

"but.... you're a nice guy, and i can't bring it up to tell you..."

the worst excuse ever.

i don't get it, so just because i'm all nice and friendly to you, doesn't mean it gives you the right to hurt me. because "oh he's a nice guy, he'll understands i'm sure. i don't really need to tell him.." means that i don't need to know the truth from the start.

"he's a nice guy, i don't wanna hurt him, i think he'll understand one.."

"i heard from her that you're a nice guy, so she's afraid of hurting you.. and the friendship."


what the fuck........


now that the exams are over, the nightmares comes back. i start to think. thoughts haunt me. i can't help it, its just simply too overwhelming at times.

i.... tried to be angry but i know deep down inside i'm yearning for her otherwise. the sense of disappointment and the tragedy of myself is choking me up entirely.

anyway, its just a short rant. the whole episode happened weeks ago.. does it even matter anymore? no. will she give a fuck? hell no man.. does doing anything to draw her attention or to salvage the situation makes any difference? NEVER.

gah. the only saving grace is that i still have this little space for me to vent it all out. all my hopes and dreams literally smashed into pieces. i'm practically left floating on my own now, hanging onto the slightest thinnest thread. i'm sure people can tell, we don't really communicate anymore now. probably will do me good, since its gonna be the start of a whole new year, plus a new semester.

my friends, they have been supportive and understanding. thanks guys.

merry fucking christmas everyone.. =)

ahhh blogger.. my little haven.

a place where i can soak in my own comfort, live in my own dreams, sink deeper into my comfort zone. hide away from the world. no reality.





well i can't say much, can i?

it was mostly "okays" and "i'm sorry"s. nah, seriously what do you think could have been said? "oh okay i was just kidding, let's go back to the start."?

lol that's next to impossible. anyway i've said my piece too, maybe its insignificant to you, maybe you would treated it as a "okay, whatevers" kinda thing.

then came the "yeah we should take a time-out yo."

its okay. i lost the fight. i went down real hard. i'll admit it. but its okay. we're still cool.





then again, its time to set the priorities right now. studies. after all, thats why we're here for right?